For the youtube version of this blog post, please watch below:

When I decided to write this blog post, I first looked for the definition of burnout. According to the WHO, burnout is included in the 11th Revision of the International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) as an occupational phenomenon. It is not classified as a medical condition. More specifically:

“Burn-out is a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:

• feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion;
• increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job; and
• reduced professional efficacy.”

Therefore, it makes total sense that people have started using the term ‘parental burnout’. After all, isn’t having a child one of the most demanding and stressful jobs out there?

A very real depiction of the job

This video makes people laugh but it really does a good job listing everything the job of a parent entails. Looking at it from this lens, burnout is a very real possibility.

What it can look like for you

Just like with any condition, noone has the exact same list issues to the same degree. Based on my experience talking to other women, here are some sings of how burnout might manifest for you:

• Waking up with very little energy (but you do a great job hiding it)
• Not having any interests outside taking care of your children, but you don’t feel doing anything else either
• Not feeling connected to anyone in your life as you haven’t had a proper conversation with an adult in what feels like forever
• Not even considering doing any form of exercise as your body feels so weak
• Snapping at your children and your husband all the time
• Feeling resentful and frustrated
• Not feeling like yourself
• If it were up to you, you would sleep for a whole day and wake up to an empty house.

On top of all of that, you experience a crippling sense of guilt. Guilt for having any negative emotions when you should be grateful and happy because you seem to ‘have it all’.

What to do about it

I would like to ask you to be honest with yourself while you answer the following question:

On a scale of 1 to 10, where do you think you place (ten being in burnout, and 1 being normal)?

If that number is a 9 or a 10, if you feel like you’ve reached that point of no return and symptoms like the ones above aren’t just a one-off, but are constantly there impacting your daily life, then please seek professional help.

I can definitely help you if your score is an 8 or lower. As a certified health coach and Positive Intelligence® coach, I’m all about prevention and getting that number even lower. I can help you by: 1) exploring your mindset and how your mind might be allowing negative emotions to fester and draw you down and 2) examining your lifestyle and see how you can best support body and mind to be able to cope with the challenges coming your way. As a behavior change expert, I’m with you every step of the way, at a pace that makes sense to you.

Why you should seek help

Simply put, because noone else will do it for you!

Unless you have a partner who aren’t themselves stressed out and overwhelmed, and able to see that you are struggling. If that’s the case, you’re very lucky. For most of us, help will not come our way unless we make it so. Society considers it normal for mums to struggle. Secretly, many of us are put on anti-depressants at some point to be able to cope (I have nothing again psychotropics, but they should not be the only solution offered).

We aren’t meant to raise children alone yet most of us are doing it. There is no shame whatsoever in admitting that this job we’ve chosen to take is pretty damn hard, and that we need help. Even F1 cars stop at some point to change their tires and perform checks.

Please stop yours before it hits a wall.

If you want to discuss how I might be able to help you, please book a complementary discovery session with me here.