When I first meet with someone in my coaching practice, we start by putting together what we call their timeline – an outline of their lives from the very beginning until now. This includes what we call ‘triggers’: major events that might have caused stress and pain. Sometimes, these events even coincide with the start of a health issue. 

Most of them have something to do with loss: the death of an important person, hard break-ups, miscarriages, a diagnosis, but also a loss of safety or expectations, etc.

99% of the time, people say to me that that while they know the event marked them in many ways, they don’t want to revisit it.

• “It’s been too long” (=I didn’t deal with it then, and it’s too late)
• “I’ve learned to live with it” (=It’s painful, but I compartmentalize it so I can live my life without thinking about it most of the time)
• “There’s no point” (=I don’t think there’s anything to be done/said about it)
• “I should be over this by now” (=I am ashamed that this is still something I am carrying)
• “I don’t want to” (=I’m too scared to open that box-if I start crying I won’t stop)

These reactions are all very normal. And up until a few months ago, I also didn’t have a way to convince these people that they should address the pain linked to their losses and that they can break free from it. Now, having gone through the Grief Recovery Method® which I now also teach, I know that’s possible. The truth is: that it’s never too late to tend to your grief.

Grief has no expiration date – until you do something about it

Whether your loss happened months, years, or even decades ago, the pain can linger in quiet, persistent ways. It can become part of your daily rhythm—woven into how you see the world, how you relate to others, how you see yourself, and what kind of coping mechanisms (most of the time unhealthy ones) you’ve developed.

You might have heard or told yourself that ‘time heals’. Because you’ve learned to live with the pain, you think that this was true for you too. But time doesn’t heal. We just become better at living life with a broken heart and at being distracted by other things.

Here’s the encouraging part: no matter how much time has passed, healing is always possible. It was possible for me after almost 30 years after my mum’s death.

Why Grief Sometimes Gets Stuck

Grief becomes “stuck” when we don’t have the support or tools to process it when it happens. Life moves on around us. We go back to work, take care of families, meet responsibilities, and try to “get over it,” because that’s what the world often expects.

When it’s ignored or repressed, it can show up later as anxiety, depression, chronic stress, difficulty connecting with others, or even physical illness. You might not even realize that unprocessed grief might be at the root of how heavy your life feels.

That’s why returning to your grief—no matter how long it’s been—can be one of the most important things you ever do.

The Benefits of Working on Your Grief, Even Years Later

When you engage with your grief, something shifts. You make space to remember, to feel, and to let go—not of the person or thing you loved, but of the pain that’s been holding you back.

Here’s what can happen when you work on your grief:

• You reclaim parts of yourself. Grief can make us feel disconnected from who we used to be. When we begin to heal, we often rediscover joy, creativity, or a sense of purpose that was buried under sorrow.

• You experience greater peace. Carrying unresolved grief can feel like walking with a heavy backpack. As you unpack it, little by little, that weight begins to lift.

• You connect more deeply with others. Healing opens your heart. It allows you to show up more authentically in relationships, to love without fear, and to support others in their grief.

• You honor your loss in meaningful ways. Grieving allows you to remember and carry forward the love—not the pain.

You Are Allowed to Start Now

If you’re reading this and thinking, “But it’s been too long,” please hear this: it’s not too late. There’s no rulebook that says when grief work should begin or end. What matters is your readiness—and the courage to take that first step.

I took my first step around 15 years after my mum’s death, and it was because my body was showing signs of chronic stress. A doctor pointed out to me that maybe there was something in my past that was causing it. “Bingo”, I thought. Of course there was.

But it wasn’t until I went through the training to become a Grief Recovery Specialist that I experienced a sense of peace and calmness that I didn’t even know was possible. I would love for you to experience this too. 

Life After Grief Isn’t the Same—It’s Sometimes Better

If you’re afraid that doing this will cause you to forget the person you lost, nothing could be further than the truth. In fact, because you are free from the pain, you have space to allow for the positive emotions to show up. You relate to the person who left in a very different, special way.

You’re not broken. You’re human. We were simply never taught how to deal with loss. Please reach out to find out when the next Grief Recovery Method® support group is starting, or to work with me one-on-one.