Being a parent has taught me how strong I am

I admit it, I’m a sucker for quotes and affirmations. When I first read this one, however, it really struck a cord. Since become a mother five years ago, I have had to be strong on a number of occasions. And I’m not just talking about the physical aspect of things (getting pregnant, giving birth, surviving on little sleep, running around all day..). I’m talking about the mental strength and resilience that I’ve had to lean on.

The ugly truth?

When you’re a parent, your free time is very limited, so your interaction with friends and other adults is too. There is little space for spontaneity, especially if your kids are still napping. You can hardly plan ahead, because you never know when your kids might get sick, or throw a tantrum (shoutout to my friend who organised a huge birthday party for her child last week, only to have him get sick on the same day and have to cancel everything). You get asked the same questions over, and over, and over again even when you feel like all you want to do is crawl under the blanked and sleep for hours. Not to mention having to think about and plan what your children will wear, eat, what activity they will engage in etc.

Being a parent is hard work. As a dear friend of mine once told me, parenthood is relentless, and it doesn’t go away. 

A helpful tool to stay strong

That’s why I’m so passionate about integrating Positive Intelligence®(PQ) in my work with clients: because I have experienced personally how becoming more mentally fit has benefited me and everyone around me.

First, let me explain in very simple terms what it is about.

We all experience negative emotions – as we should. For example you feel upset when you judge yourself because you didn’t do things well enough (very common among parents), or you get annoyed by other people’s behavior (I know my kids can push my buttons..), or you’re upset at plans changing all the time, at the weather being wintery in the summer etc. etc. They are a normal part of the human experience.

These negative emotions serve a purpose: they delivery a message and they might prompt us to take action. They only become problematic when we carry them within us for hours, weeks, or even months. And guess what? Most of us do. In PQ terms we call these inner voices that are wearing us down our Saboteurs (our negative self). You might also have heard them labelled as ‘the inner critic’, or ‘the gremlin’.

The difference between knowing something, and doing something about it

In many coaching programmes or even in therapy, we learn to notice them. What Positive Intelligence® does differently is it helps you do something about them. It helps you build a foundation of mental fitness by strengthening your muscles to shift the balance of power from your inner Saboteurs (your negative self) to your inner Sage (your positive self). You get to experience life in a much more positive way.

Imagine if you had the mental muscles to face life’s challenges (and there are SO MANY when you’re a parent) with a positive mindset.

‘Charged-up’ and ready to face challenges

What would be different for you? How would your relationships be affected by this attitude? How about your stress levels? What would your life be like if you experienced more love, gratitude, appreciation, hope, serenity, awe instead of frustration, fear, anger, victimhood, sadness? If you felt like the battery of the smartphone that is your mind was charged up?

You might be reading this thinking ‘GREAT, but I still can’t change my circumstances, so how is that helpful’? That is exactly the point.

When we can’t change the situation, we can change our response to it. That’s the only thing we have any control of.

You might never have thought of your mind as something you can influence or as a muscle you can train, but this is exactly what happens when you combine neuroscience, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Positive Psychology. This is based on research that has included more than a million participants around the globe.

Are you curious about it? Please book a call with me and let’s chat about it. I can’t wait for you to experience what it means to be mentally fit.

 

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash